“For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.” – Romans 7:15
It promises to satisfy me. To make me feel good and forget all of my troubles. It gets me to a high of life and promises to leave me there, that is until I fall. I fall out of the promises of the pleasures presented to me by one who was never for me to begin with. All throughout time, this ‘promiser’ came ringing in lies and promises he never could nor planned to keep.
While for a moment it all sounded good, when it was all said and done—I felt anything but good. I wondered how I could have given in again and again. The promiser continued to return with the same empty promises only this time they were wearing a different face. I once vowed to not cave in the next time only to fall into his trap again. In this cycle of giving in to what I don’t want to do, I felt shame speaking. The shame spoke too loud to ask for help, so loud that I could no longer hear myself. What should I do? What can I do? What will I do?
Tears rush down my face as I recall the accounts of such disgrace. “How could I have submitted again?!” I ponder as the tears continue to fall. I was sure I’d win it this time. But the temptation came and it won again. The sounds of enjoyment and all that I craved rang loudly, so much so that I was blind to the fact that this was the same thing from before—only wearing a different disguise.
I can turn to friends but I fear judgement. Better yet, I can turn to God but this is the millionth time, could He ever forgive me? Could it be that I’ve done this thing too many times? Could I be the unforgivable one? After all, Jesus died so that I’d be free from this. He gave His life so that I’d no longer even desire to choose death again. But in the midst of heartache, it sounded good. The enemy came in singing all the right songs and saying all the right things in a voice that sounded like everything I needed to hear.
Oh, and it was, or so I thought. It was exactly what I needed to hear—or exactly what I wanted to hear. Being crafty as he is, he knew just what to say and just when to say it. The enemy knew just the right knobs to turn to get me in his corner. He knew all too well that someday, given the right atmosphere and the perfect setup, he could get me to fall prey to his schemes again—different disguises and all.
The trials and the mess ups of life are no coincidence. More often than not, it’s all in the yield. Yield to God and we’ll get what God says. Yield to the enemy and we’ll get his empty promises. The enemy is defined as the father of lies (John 8:44)—it’s all he does is lie. God on the other hand is the One who keeps His promises (Deuteronomy 7:9)—all of them.
After a mess up, or sin—let’s call it what it is—the enemy would have us to believe that we’re unworthy. He’d like us to believe that we can’t be forgiven and that running to God is the last thing we can do. He will fill us up with lies like, “God doesn’t love you.” Or “God doesn’t want you.” And “God will never forgive you this time.” The enemy can present us with nothing new, his game is to leave us in shame, feeling less than and like God is no longer with us.
But is that what God says? The enemy can only continue to lie to us if we don’t know what is TRUE. The TRUTHis that God loves US! So much that He gave His ONE AND ONLY SONto die for our sin—past, present AND FUTURE! The TRUTH is that God will NEVERleave us nor forsake us! The TRUTHis that if we confess our sins to Him, God is FAITHFULand JUSTto forgive us!! His faithfulness isn’t dependent on us and whether or not we get it right 100% of the time. Faithful is WHOGod is!
The enemy would leave us to host a pity party of one and even plant thoughts in our minds to give up on God or to give up all together. The enemy is ever ready to roam about ‘like’ a roaring lion to devour. But he has no power to the one who KNOWS their God. To the one who KNOWS what God says, believes what God says and says what God says! The enemy has no power to defeat or overcome us. And although you or I may have messed up and may mess up again, God still loves us and He always will. Because the TRUTHsays that NOTHINGcan separate us from the love of God—NO.THING!
The enemy wants us to believe that God’s love is earned and dependent on our actions—WRONG!! God IS LOVE! His love is Unconditional! Therefore, God loves us at our best and at our worst! God loves us because HE CHOOSESto love us, not because of anything we’ve done! He sees us through His Son, Jesus who is spotless in His sight, and so are WE. The enemy came, he sought, and he may think that he conquered but not today and not ever. We’ve already won! He knows that, now let’s remind him of his rightful place—UNDER. OUR. FEET.