I once had a covenant with the things that were done to me. The hurt inflicted at the hands of another. I not only allowed the things that hurt to get the better of me, I also allowed them to define me. Life’s experiences were never meant to be the foundation on which we build our worth nor the place of where we find our value. The truth is, if we live from that place, we will find ourselves falling short every time. Something that’s began to sound “cliché” to the world around us but holds so much truth, in fact it is THE TRUTH is our identity should only be found in what God says about us.
Life happens—to us all. No one is exempt from the lessons that life can at times teach us. The thing is, we should only allow the things we experience in life to be a lesson learned. Not from a place of bitter but from a place of better. At times I’ve wanted to hurt others the way that they’ve hurt me. I’ve wanted to pay them back. But, two wrongs don’t make a right and paying back a hurt incurred gives voice to bitter instead of helping me to become better. Something else to consider is, not every hurt we’ve incurred was intentional. “Hurt people, hurt people” which often leads to a hurt being received at the hands of someone who has also been hurt.
The cycle only continues so long as we allow it to. We can be intentional about making the decision that hurt and the infliction of it stops with us. I recently attended a church service that not only opened my eyes but it convicted me—in the best of ways! The pastor used a phrase and made a point that actually inspired both the title of this post and this post as well, “Wedded Wounds.” A wedded wound is a wound we’ve chosen to marry instead of martyr. In life, wounds will happen but we don’t have to allow those wounds to get the best of us. We can choose to let them go.
I want to get married. I have a list of traits and things I desire in my husband but not one of them includes—rejection, betrayal, backbiting, gossip nor anything else that hurts. Yet, I somehow found myself (when it was pointed out in service) married to the things that were done to me aka, the hurts I’ve experienced. Honestly, I have been discovering where the issue has been. Instead of moving away from my past and allowing Jesus to heal and transform me how only He can, I’d allowed the echo of my past to speak louder than the hope of my future and the voice of my Savior. The truth is, we can’t move forward while looking backwards.
My point? I chose to post this blog for one of a few reasons. One; maybe you, like me, have found yourself stuck and not sure why. Maybe you’ve noticed a trend of issues happening that you thought you were over until you met them face to face again. Issues such as rejection and the fear of it that may have caused you to run off some pretty great relationships while barely hanging on to the ones that have stayed. Or the fear of being betrayed again so you isolate yourself and make vows to never allow someone to get so close to you. The list goes on, at least for me it does.
Another reason I chose to post this blog is maybe it will speak to you like it spoke to me. Maybe it will open your eyes or cause you to examine your life and whether or not you too are married to a wound or two. Lastly, my desire is that I maintain an authentic space. I want to be vulnerable and real with my readers. Life has been crazy lately, mainly good but it could be better. I haven’t posted in a while for several reasons but I’m done with excuses and I’m ready to start sharing again!
To bring it home, I’ve been wounded and there are still some things that I am walking out. To be honest, I’ll pass on the microwave healing and allow the healing process with Jesus to take as long as it needs to. But that doesn’t mean that I have to live from my wounds nor act as though they’re my master. I believe that I can draw a line while still receiving all that I need to receive in order to live the free life that Jesus died for me to have. To sum it up, I’ve filed for divorce to the things I no longer wish to have a covenant with so that I can enjoy the best covenant there is with my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ!
I don’t depend on my own strength to accomplish this; however I do have one compelling focus: I forget all of the past as I fasten my heart to the future instead. (Philippians 3:13)
It is through him that we live and function and have our identity; just as your own poets have said, ‘Our lineage comes from him.’ (Acts 17:28)