I was listening to a message one day and the speaker, I believe it was Joyce Meyer, said something that really resonated with me. I’m paraphrasing here but it was something along the lines of, “We must reason the right things about a person or situation instead of the wrong things.” The message was about how our thoughts affect our lives.
It left me thinking about how much I reason things and what that reasoning has been like—am I believing the best or the worst? I found that a lot of my reasoning leaned towards the negative side of things instead of best case scenario. Meanwhile, I walk around claiming how optimistic I am but when it came down to it, I have not been as optimistic as I thought I was, in this area at least. No condemnation and no shade, just a reality check.
I was met with an unfavorable situation a few days ago. In fact, I’ve been met with similar situations several times but this particular time was after I’d heard this message. I don’t text or make phone calls a lot so when I do, I’ve made a big deal about if or when someone responds. And when they don’t respond, I’ve been ready to write them out of my life. It’s like, “How dare you ignore my text, do I mean nothing to you?!” When 1) other people’s lives don’t revolve around me and 2) they may not have seen it, may have forgotten to reply or any number of things.
The thing is, I thought this text was pretty amazing and that maybe they’d be just as excited as I was about it until; they never responded. It bugged me. That is until I was reminded of this message about reasoning. I couldn’t just reason away a thought in my mind, I had to reason out loud. So, I intentionally spoke what could possibly be wrong, I reminded myself of fun times we had, reasons why it’s not a ‘me thing’ and that they love me. I’ve spoken about rejection a bit and when it boils down to it, this was a rejection issue.
I’ll be honest and say that I’ve still wanted to be upset with them because of the negative reasoning that revolved around me. #selfish. But every time that occurred, I have to SPEAK something I know to be true about them. I have to choose to believe that they love me and maybe they’re just busy. And if I don’t believe they love me or if I can’t believe the best, maybe they’re not someone who needs to be in my life. Relationships are hard. We have so much vying for our attention and so many ‘models’ of what friendship and family is ‘supposed’ to look like. It’s not ok for me to hold anyone to the expectations of unrealistic friendship.
We’ve also got a guide to follow on what friendship can and should look like. We find that love is our ultimate call; to love and to be loved. In fact, we’re loved first in order that we may love in return. The thing about love is that it is not based on conditions. It’s not on terms of “you scratch my back and I scratch yours.” It’s, “in spite of how you treat me or not, I will still believe the best. I will still choose to treat you well.” Love is selfless so it seeks to put others ahead of itself. Love also believes the best! Given what I know to be true about love, how can I reason in love?
I can think and say things like, “I believe they will get back to me when they can. I love them and I know they would never intentionally ignore me. It’s not like them.” Or something along those lines. I don’t go for their character, I defend it. To who? The accuser of the brethren. Most times he’s the one behind our “negative reasoning.” Notice I said most times, we’ve got a part to play too! So instead of defending myself by getting upset with them and stating all the reasons why they should have responded to me, I must CHOOSE to defend them and state all the reasons why they’re not guilty.
God is our defender, yes! But He’s given us each other too. And let’s be real, you stick up for those you love. If someone tried to come at my mom or any of my family or friends, I’d back them up in a heartbeat! If that’s true in the natural, how much more should I operate that way in the spiritual because things start there, in the unseen, before they show up in the seen.
The enemy would have us to build a case against our loved ones in our hearts and minds so that we’re divided. Well, we are not ignorant of his devices (2 Corinthians 2:11) so we will not allow him to come into our lives and wreak havoc! He’s a thief and he comes to steal, kill and destroy. Well, as for me and mine, he won’t! Not today, not ever! Let’s purpose to reason best case scenarios! If you’re already doing that, great! But if you’re anything like me, you may need a reminder or some encouragement every now and then so I hope this helps! Tell me your thoughts in the comments and feel free to share this post with a friend! 🙂